Women and Body Image

Now, I am a female so at times I have issues with how I look. I, however, realize that I'm being neurotic and just ignore it. I don't mean to say I'll let myself get fat and just ignore it because that's being neurotic. I can tell the difference between my "Does this dress make me look fat?" moment and the "The scale must be wrong, I can't possibly be 150lbs" moment. That being said, for the majority of time I am quite happy with how I look currently. I have been both ends of the spectrum. I've been very thin and I have been chubby (yes ladies and germs this cute little elfling did actually reach the 150lbs mark. For your own health never work with a bunch of motherly women who always think you don't eat enough and make it really easy to access cookies and chocolate.)

Having been on both sides I have very odd mental issues (yes. Too easy, move along now). I never think I'm eating enough (thanks to people thinking I was anorexic when I was younger) and at the same time I feel the need to check the nutritional info on the back of treats -after- I've eaten them and then tell myself I really need to work that off (which, I of course, rarely actually do.) Now again, I realize this is me being dumb. No one else even picks up on the fact that I do it. I am healthy, active, "energetic". So, why did I come home from the gym feeling fat last night?

I went in for a fitness assessment (they made me. Without it I don't get my membership card) yesterday. I haven't been to the gym in a month due to work and I wasn't feel 100% so it's not surprising my results weren't great. What stood out though was the Fat Percentage Test. She pressed this machine against my arm in two spots and pronounced that I have 32.5% body fat. According to charts, that makes me Obese. She even went as far as to tell me that, at 121lbs, I'm at risk of diabetes, high blood pressure, the works (one would think, if this were true, my doctors would be pointing this out). At this point I'm sitting there looking at her and wanting out. I'm sorry. There is no way at 121lbs with a 26inch waist I'm obese. I have a perfect hip to waist ratio, I'm moderately active and my eating habits (excuse the chocolate gelato in my freezer) are to the point where everyone comments on how healthy I am.

Yet, sitting there, knowing all this is just an attempt to make me pay for supplements and a personal trainer, I am still feeling fat. Now, thinking about it the next day, I like my fat. She wants me to lose enough fat so that if I didn't replace it with muscle I'd be 105lbs. I've been 105lbs. You know what a girl is missing at 105lbs? Breasts. I like having breasts. At my "obese" level I'm at now I'm not exactly well endowed (stop staring).

I did a Body Fat Calculator online this morning that takes into consideration my measurements, not whatever that machine took into consideration. It's, apparently, the same way the US military uses (or Navy, or something like that). It told me I have 20% body fat. Perfectly perfect for a woman. I'm not in amazing physical shape, but I'm healthy. Duh?

Now, this was a -really- long opening to the whole point here. This is not really about me but about the female condition.

The above example is why we are all so bloody neurotic. We have so many mixed messages. We need to be curvy and busty but at the same time have no body fat. How realistic is that? No wonder so many girls think they need breast implants. And you constantly (or maybe this is just me) have the boyfriends going "You are gorgeous",etc and then spend the rest of their time oggling some girl who looks -nothing- like you. You have pretty blonde bimbos trying to tell young girls it's okay to be yourself but really, how do you believe a gorgeous person who says that? Of course it's okay for -them- to be themselves. So you have all these beautiful and healthy "average" women beating themselves up all the time to be "perfect".

On the other side there are a number of unhealthily fat women who try to convince the world that it's okay to be themselves. I am sorry, yes, you have large breasts but come on. If you can't see your own toes you need to lose weight. We cannot all be a size 2 but you know, size 22 is a little much. It is not good for your body, unless of course you like not being able to take stairs and want to die at 50. Stop pretending you are happy being fat. You aren't. That's one of the reasons you're fat. (Yes. This is politically incorrect. Bite me.)

Oh and for all you size 0s out there. Eat a piece of cake already. 5'7" and 100lbs is -creepy-. You remind me of a poster in my high school fashion class with a model next to a starving African girl. Looking like a starving boy is not pretty either. If you thighs are the size of my bicep... you need help. The fashion industry is fucking with your head. Carbs are yummy...

And BOYS stop liking a girl cause you're expected too. You do not help.