These will slowly be added too every little while... but I think it's high time this was put in writing. Now up from 25 to 40 thanks to a trip to the movies. 1480 words. Warning: May offend those it was directed to. If you are offended my apologies and I suggest you reevaluate yourself.........
1) You are not the centre of the universe. The rest of us probably don't even notice you when you're not screaming for attention.........
2) Your children are not adorable. They are not angels. The sooner you realize that the sooner you'll discipline them so they aren't tiny monsters. If you don't do it now the law will have to do it for you when they're older.
3) Headphones were invented for a reason. Use them. I have no use for your music and don't enjoy having to deafen myself to block it out.
4) It takes years to teach you the English language. It shouldn't take you a minute to butcher it. "Axed" means "To chop or fell with or as if with an ax" not "To put a question to" the word you mean to use is "Asked".
5) Just because you have the IQ of a gnat does not mean the rest of us do. We are not required to dumb ourselves down because you can't be bothered to try and understand.
6) You cannot judge a book by its cover.
7) I am not required to follow your religious doctrine. Nor are you required to follow mine. I am not less of a person purely because my holiday comes before your celebration.
8) Tolerance and patience are a must, but they can be worn out. Tread lightly and don't abuse those who are patient with you.
9) Do not expect the natives of a country to assimilate to your desires. You need to assimilate to the country you live in. If you do not want to learn the language and social etiquette of your new home, you should have stayed where you were.
10) We do not leave the "village" to raise our children. I do not want to have someone's offspring invading my privacy because the parents believe putting them in the hallway and ignoring them is parenting.
11) You cannot blame Media for how your child turns out. If you do not have the ability to raise a child and leave it up to the television and music that is no one's fault but your's.
12) The world is not here for you alone. Show some courtesy and keep it clean. We don't appreciate tramping through your garbage, stepping on your gum or kicking your discarded beer bottles
13) Driving is not a right. It's a privilege. Learn to do it or get off the road before you kill someone.
14) Just because you're pretty doesn't mean you are entitled to more than the rest of us. The fact that you think that means you are actually entitled to less.
15) We do not all pay attention to pop culture. Celebrities are simply people too. The fact that you need to delve into their lives because your's is so unfortunate is just sad.
16) The fact that you want to smoke should not impact me. I do not want to gag while walking inside a building because you don't want to walk to the designated area because you think it's your right to infringe on my right to clean air.
17) If you can smell your perfume you are wearing too much. The rest of us are being nauseated. Scent should be subtle and light. If you need that much try taking a shower.
18) We were blessed with the invention of antiperspirant and deodorant for a reason. Find some. Use it.
19) The fact that you are fat is no one's fault but your own. The world does not need to change to accommodate you. If you end up partially on my lap on the bus when you sit down, do us both a favour... eat a salad and take a nice long walk. Remember what your toes look like? No? Maybe you should rediscover what it's like to be able to tie your shoes.
20) A person's sexuality does not affect you in any way. Just because they're gay does not mean they want you. And even if they do, you're not...right? Or is that what really bothers you?
21) Lesbians and bisexual women are not there for the amusement of men. Life is not a porn movie.
22) People who work in a position that serves you deserve respect. Smile at your bus driver and say thank you to your waitress.
23) Skin colour is nothing but an excuse to segregate society by choice. What difference does the amount of brown in your make? It doesn't change your intelligence or dreams. Get over it.
24) Stupidity is not an excuse. It can be fixed. Only you can be blamed for your lack of knowledge.
25) Just because someone is pretty does not mean they deserve cat-calls and pet names. They aren't appreciated. How would you feel if you or your daughter or wife were treated like that? Yeah. That's what I thought.....
26) Just because you can ignore your bastard child's screaming does not mean the rest of us can. I decided not to have children for a reason and just because you had a child while you were still one does not mean you shouldn't act like a parent.....
27) Do not doom your child to a life of obesity because you are lazy and fat. You do not like being fat and useless. When you have a child, try feeding them right and encouraging them to get exercise so they do not turn out as disgusting as you are. Burger King is not a suitable meal for anyone, let alone a four year old.....
28) If it is crowded and you cannot take the stairs at anything more than one every minute, and there is an elevator or escalator, use the modes of transportation that are there specifically for people who can't take stairs. Do not inconvenience the rest of us who want to get somewhere within the hour.....
29) The subway station is not a huge garbage can. It is disgusting to walk up to a platform and see it covered in paper, drink containers and discarded McDonalds wrapping. I know you are self absorbed but how would you feel having to walk on someone else's discarded lunch?....
30) If there is already one or two strollers on the bus, don't try to fit your's on it as well. For every stroller on the bus you could fit three people. You've now prevented nine people from being able to get where they want to go. You chose to have a child. Deal with the consequences. ....
31) If you need to stop to ask a question when getting on a bus, going through a booth, etc, and there are twenty people behind you, get on last. Do not force your way to the front of the line and then proceed to prevent anyone else from moving forward.....
32) Get off your damn phone. ....
33) Humans have this really neat thing called peripheral vision. Use it. If you feel the need to stare at something as you walk through a public place how about you also learn to watch out for people walking in your direction. Do not act surprised when you nearly walk into someone. When you are looking anywhere but in front of you it is really hard for the rest of world to tell where you're going.....
34) Cats are house pets. If I see your feline wandering around outside repeatedly with no collar and looking scruffy, I am taking them home and showing them the love you obviously do not. Do you know what happens to cats outside in huge cities?....
35) Just because you are thin does not mean you are fit. If you do no exercise you may be as out of shape as someone who is chunky, you were just blessed with a high metabolism or you just don't eat much.....
36) My chair is not a foot rest. There is plenty of foot room. I do not feel like being rocked back and forth because you are restless.....
37) If the movie is over and everyone is clearing out, do not force your away back into the theatre. Wait until everyone has left if you have to go back in you inconsiderate git.....
38) If you are in a long line waiting to purchase something, have your damn money out before you reach the front of the line. How much thought does that actually take?....
39) Do not stand right in front of doors. If I hit you, it is your fault.
40) Do not push children. I cannot believe I have to even say that, but apparently I do.
41) You are not meant to be a blonde. If no one in your race has blonde hair naturally, you are not meant to be a blonde. It looks bad on you. Indians are not meant to be blondes, especially when it turns out more orange than blonde. Italians are not meant to be blondes. Africans are -not- meant to be blonde. Need I continue the list?
42) Bras are suppose to be worn under your clothing. Perhaps your mother failed to instruct you in the fact that a bra should not cover more of your breasts than your shirt does. If your shirt does not completely cover your breasts, you need a bigger shirt. Stop trying to convince yourself you are a size small.
43) Underwear is called that for a reason. I do not want to see your thong or boxers.
